Untitled

Firstly,...
You said that you love her...
You said that It's hard to forget her...
You said that You already accept her whoever she is

Then you said that You want me next to you and don't change to be different person
You take care of me, protect me like your sibling.
You afraid if I change or left you.

But still... you said that You STILL love her

Do you know how hurt it is ? Do you know that I shed my tears when you said that ?
What the meaning of me in your eyes ? Where is my place in your heart, in your mind ?

Is my place just as your best friend ? Or the worst, just like your sibling ?

I try to tell you how hurt I am by saying this "Why you took care of me whereas you still love her ? Did you know what our friends said about us ? Yeah, It seems like I am the sacrifice between us." I am sorry

In my heart, I want you...
With my fully heart I've already accept you.... The best and the worst of you
In silence, I love you... I miss you.. hoping that even once your eyes going toward me.
In silence, I feel this scar that hurt and deep more and more day by day. And I covered it with my smile and my laugh.
That's why... I have some masks to wear, pretending I'm happy when I'm around you, so you wont feel worry :)

And this is what I want from you...
Think about who you really need in your life.. Think about it calmly but If possible, fastly...
Tell me if you have the answer.....even it will make my heart suffer with more hurt, tell me please :')

Then, if the answer is you want me.. Please stay with me, protect me, fight for me until the day we unite :) I'll keep my heart for you.
But if the answes is her.. Try to get her. Leave me as soon as possible.. Pretending that we just friend, no more. Decrease your careness to me.. 
I think you know what the different between 'someone special' careness and 'just friend' careness. I'll let you go. I will be okay :)

Before I end it, I wanna say, Yeah, I already fallen for you. I am not lying.
I dont know when my heart and my mind start to choose you, I just know that Its keep remind me with all about you now.
But beside try to attract you, I choose increasing my own ability and stay in touch with you in some place with my way. That's why I should do this. I'll let you think about it without my interference.
I care you with my silence. I love you.


05072012 In the middle of tears